After he left, we were able to have a pity party with a few other ladies whose husbands had left, and Audrey played with her friends. When we returned to our empty house, my heart felt empty. I hate saying goodbye, especially to my best friend. Our entire house is just a bit hollow when he first leaves, and I'm not afraid to admit that our day to day lives are just more fun when Matt is around. I put on a brave face for Audrey and fixed us lunch. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to read the card Matt left me while sitting with Audrey for lunch. She was looking at her sweet card from Daddy (where Matt gave her a hug she could always keep with her). I read Matt's words of comfort, love, and encouragement, and when I got to the end, I saw that he had signed it, "I'll be right back." I literally jumped up from the table, told Audrey I had to use the bathroom, and ran into my room. I burst into tears, cried for less than a minute, wiped my eyes, and forced myself back into the kitchen to finish lunch with my sweet girl. Whew!
The truth is, I know that Matt is right. This time will pass quickly. Or at least it will feel that way when we near the end of our separation. At this moment, though, it seems so long. And every ounce of me WANTS him to be right back, to walk in the door and yell "surprise!" and give us all his amazing hugs. Sigh...
The girls are doing better than I expected, and I thank God for all of the prayers people have whispered for our family. I know they work. Audrey has been happily listening to her CD of Daddy reading her books. She looks at the map that we use to "see" where Daddy is in relation to where we live. And last night she got to talk to Daddy on the phone before she went to sleep. She chatted happily like a little teenager and didn't want to get off the phone. It was a sweet, sweet moment. She went to bed happy (and only woke up once in the middle of the night). Claire smiles and laughs every time she hears her Daddy's voice, whether it is from her Daddy Doll or his voice on the CD. I will make sure she doesn't forget his voice while he's gone.
Today when I woke up, I felt like I could breathe. The second day is so much better, and I know each prayer and passing day will lessen the tightness I feel in my chest. We miss you, Matt, and we're praying for your safety and your protection. Thank you for your love. Thank you for serving our country.
Audrey is showing us her special light that Daddy gave her while standing in front of her map.
Claire enjoys bouncing. She is six months old today!!
4 comments:
Girl, you get me every time! I got big alligator tears in my eyes as I read this, & I will never forget the first time our guys deployed together at Shaw. Joey's truck was parked next to Matt's XTerra, & we were both sobbing. I remember thinking about how precious Audrey was & how sad I was that she was saying bye to Matt. The time will go by fast & I'll continue to keep you sweet girls in my prayers! Love to all!
I am getting tears in my eyes just thinking about all of this! But Matt is right - he will be right back! And until then, God will keep all of you in His hands. Love ya!!
Been thinking of you constantly these past few days. I'm so sorry for how incredibly difficult this is for all of you. Your post brought tears to my eyes. But, I'm so thankful you can say he's your best friend and you'll miss him so much (I know that isn't the case for so many couples). What a blessing our husbands are to us! Praying for you and Matt and the girls daily. I have no doubt God is making you both so stronger and and more reliant on Him through these times.
Hang in there Erika! This post brought tears to my eyes as well knowing the exact feelings you are going through. A home just isn't a home without everyone in it, but he'll be back before you know it. We are trying to get Eric out before the new year and not sure why we're rushing it (well I do) but not looking forward to saying goodbye for 6 months :( Girls love their Daddies and for that we can be thankful! I wish we were still down the street to let the kiddos play together and help take your mind off things. Best of luck over the next few days getting used to life. It will get better and God will watch over all of you! With this lifestyle, I always try to remember with the guys and with parting from good friends, it's never goodbye it's always I'll see you later!
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